Still Crying When Remember It

How I can hide my sad from you, God. How I can close my eyes when my eyes is tearing. I can not do anything. Only you that can do everything. I can not do nothing, only effort that I can do. when all I have done, the dream never come. I feel that this is not the end of the struggle. This is not the finish line that I want. I still to be the people can explore myself to be better not be loser. Hope, Wish, Pray, that I can only do now. I can not do nothing. I do not like kind of human like me who only wait, wait, and wait. I am a strong human created by God to be useful for myself and my family. I do not care of everything in front of me, but I do believe I can reach my dream now or later.

It is my dream when I was little in elementary school, write down on my book everything I know from all over the world, the news, the condition, the war. I love it. why I should throw away my dream, guys? Why, this is my life, this is my choice, this is challenge, this is my way.

Why I always cry when I remember, have three years I can not stop my crying, my shouting in deep heart, my tearing my eyes, my scar in my main. I can hide this. Why you,mom, too love to me and prohibit me do something I want. God always give me a good chances.

What should I do. I just believe that not the both in home can decide what I want but me and God also can recognize and decide what I should do.

Keep believe that God always near me. :)